1 00:00:40,100 --> 00:00:42,000 Enter 2 00:00:44,100 --> 00:00:46,433 Enter. 3 00:00:46,533 --> 00:00:48,233 Did you say enter? 4 00:00:48,333 --> 00:00:50,633 Did you ever think of getting a hearing aid, Sidney? 5 00:00:50,733 --> 00:00:51,733 Beg pardon? 6 00:00:51,833 --> 00:00:52,933 Oh, never mind. 7 00:00:53,033 --> 00:00:54,367 I brought the stockroom key back. 8 00:00:54,467 --> 00:00:55,567 Thank you. 9 00:00:55,667 --> 00:00:57,567 Don't forget, it's the school concert this week. 10 00:00:57,667 --> 00:00:58,733 Pardon? 11 00:00:58,833 --> 00:01:00,333 The school concert. 12 00:01:00,433 --> 00:01:01,100 Oh. 13 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:02,267 I'll get the hall ready. 14 00:01:02,367 --> 00:01:03,467 Good. 15 00:01:03,567 --> 00:01:05,633 I wonder what Mr. Brown's class is going to do. 16 00:01:05,733 --> 00:01:06,867 Has he mentioned anything to you? 17 00:01:06,967 --> 00:01:07,933 Oh, not Dicky-Bird. 18 00:01:08,033 --> 00:01:09,467 No, no. 19 00:01:09,567 --> 00:01:10,867 As a matter, I don't think any of them want to do anything. 20 00:01:10,967 --> 00:01:12,867 That's nonsense Every class is expected 21 00:01:12,967 --> 00:01:14,633 to put on some sort of show. 22 00:01:14,733 --> 00:01:17,000 Better tell Mr. Brown to come see me at tea break. 23 00:01:17,100 --> 00:01:18,100 Pardon? 24 00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:19,100 Tea break. 25 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:20,067 Oh, is it? 26 00:01:20,167 --> 00:01:21,233 Oh, I could do with a cuppa. 27 00:01:21,333 --> 00:01:22,000 See you. 28 00:01:22,100 --> 00:01:23,000 All right. 29 00:01:23,100 --> 00:01:25,000 Now, pay attention, everyone. 30 00:01:25,100 --> 00:01:26,467 As you may recall, when last we met, 31 00:01:26,567 --> 00:01:28,400 I gave you each, for your homework, 32 00:01:28,500 --> 00:01:30,333 a different task to do over the weekend. 33 00:01:30,433 --> 00:01:31,833 Hope you've all done them, yes? 34 00:01:33,100 --> 00:01:34,267 Good. 35 00:01:34,367 --> 00:01:35,800 Well, I want you each in turn to stand up 36 00:01:35,900 --> 00:01:37,967 and give me a report on your various activities, all right? 37 00:01:38,067 --> 00:01:39,133 Now, who'd like to begin? 38 00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:41,767 We'll start at the back, shall we, with you. 39 00:01:41,867 --> 00:01:43,533 Jamila. 40 00:01:43,633 --> 00:01:46,200 Your homework was a visit to the cinema. 41 00:01:46,300 --> 00:01:48,767 Would you like to tell us about the film you saw? 42 00:01:48,867 --> 00:01:50,267 Hah. 43 00:01:50,367 --> 00:01:53,567 It was be about most beautiful, top-class 44 00:01:53,667 --> 00:01:57,567 Indian girl who is fell in love with boy from bottom class. 45 00:01:57,667 --> 00:01:58,500 Lower class. 46 00:01:58,600 --> 00:01:59,900 Hah. 47 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:01,600 But girl's father is sick. 48 00:02:01,700 --> 00:02:02,633 Nobody get married. 49 00:02:02,733 --> 00:02:04,700 So they run away. 50 00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:08,500 But father is catched them and drop off boys leggies. 51 00:02:11,700 --> 00:02:14,467 Later, father is be die. 52 00:02:14,567 --> 00:02:17,700 One day, girl is see beggar man in street. 53 00:02:19,167 --> 00:02:20,733 It is her sweetheart. 54 00:02:20,833 --> 00:02:22,733 Ah, she cries, no leggies. 55 00:02:22,833 --> 00:02:23,667 No matter. 56 00:02:23,767 --> 00:02:26,000 You be marry me. 57 00:02:26,100 --> 00:02:27,200 OK, he say. 58 00:02:27,300 --> 00:02:29,133 I be go and be make myself look nice. 59 00:02:29,233 --> 00:02:30,067 What, with no leggies. 60 00:02:30,167 --> 00:02:32,700 So he go. 61 00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:34,833 "Wait," she cry, and run after him. 62 00:02:34,933 --> 00:02:40,367 And then barong, big motor car hit her and killed her. 63 00:02:42,300 --> 00:02:44,333 It was most miserable film. 64 00:02:44,433 --> 00:02:47,067 And I'm enjoy it very much. 65 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:48,700 Good. Well done, Jamila. 66 00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:49,600 Very good. 67 00:02:49,700 --> 00:02:50,633 Taro. 68 00:02:50,733 --> 00:02:51,533 Ah so. 69 00:02:55,067 --> 00:02:57,567 Your homework was a visit to London Zoo. 70 00:02:57,667 --> 00:02:59,300 Tell us about it. 71 00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:01,667 I arrive at London Zoo-o. 72 00:03:01,767 --> 00:03:03,200 No, no, Taro. 73 00:03:03,300 --> 00:03:03,967 No. 74 00:03:04,067 --> 00:03:05,900 London Zoo. 75 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:08,067 Start again. 76 00:03:08,167 --> 00:03:11,933 I arrive at the London-o Zoo. 77 00:03:12,033 --> 00:03:13,567 "London Zoo." 78 00:03:13,667 --> 00:03:15,033 There are no "o's." 79 00:03:15,133 --> 00:03:16,467 Oh, yes, please. 80 00:03:16,567 --> 00:03:21,500 There are two "o's" in "London" and two "o's" in "zoo." 81 00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:23,267 That is absolutely correct, Ali. 82 00:03:23,367 --> 00:03:25,633 But I'm referring to the ends of the words, all right? 83 00:03:25,733 --> 00:03:26,933 Now, carry on, Taro. 84 00:03:27,033 --> 00:03:28,467 But do try and get out of the habit of ending 85 00:03:28,567 --> 00:03:29,867 every other word in "o." 86 00:03:29,967 --> 00:03:30,867 I'll try. 87 00:03:30,967 --> 00:03:33,133 Good. 88 00:03:33,233 --> 00:03:35,667 Went first to see buffle. 89 00:03:40,033 --> 00:03:41,567 "Buffle?" 90 00:03:41,667 --> 00:03:43,233 Like a big bull. 91 00:03:43,333 --> 00:03:44,000 Oh. 92 00:03:44,100 --> 00:03:47,000 "Buffalo." 93 00:03:47,100 --> 00:03:50,167 Taro "confused-o." 94 00:03:50,267 --> 00:03:53,367 Yeah, words that end in "o," like "buffalo" or "radio" 95 00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:55,267 or "vertigo," you pronounce the "o." 96 00:03:55,367 --> 00:03:57,000 But where there is no "o," you don't have one. 97 00:03:57,100 --> 00:03:58,367 Understand? 98 00:03:58,467 --> 00:03:59,500 "Yes-o." 99 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:01,100 Thank you for that. 100 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:02,033 All right, Taro. 101 00:04:02,133 --> 00:04:03,433 Thank you. 102 00:04:03,533 --> 00:04:04,333 Right. 103 00:04:04,433 --> 00:04:05,367 Now, Ali. 104 00:04:05,467 --> 00:04:06,533 Yes, please. 105 00:04:06,633 --> 00:04:08,833 I asked you to read one of Shakespeare's plays. 106 00:04:08,933 --> 00:04:09,767 Were you able to do that? 107 00:04:09,867 --> 00:04:11,333 Most definitely. 108 00:04:11,433 --> 00:04:13,033 I'm reading about Sherlock. 109 00:04:13,133 --> 00:04:14,867 You mean Shylock? 110 00:04:14,967 --> 00:04:15,767 Yes, please. 111 00:04:15,867 --> 00:04:16,967 "The Merchant of Venice." 112 00:04:17,067 --> 00:04:17,933 Oh, good. 113 00:04:18,033 --> 00:04:19,467 Carry on. 114 00:04:19,567 --> 00:04:22,367 First of all, there is a lady, Porter. 115 00:04:22,467 --> 00:04:23,133 No. 116 00:04:23,233 --> 00:04:24,900 Her name was Portia. 117 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,100 Yes, please. 118 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:28,400 Now, a man called Bassanio is fancying 119 00:04:28,500 --> 00:04:30,967 this lady Porter, er, Portia. 120 00:04:31,067 --> 00:04:32,600 But he's broken. 121 00:04:32,700 --> 00:04:33,600 Broken what? 122 00:04:33,700 --> 00:04:36,667 Stony broken and no money. 123 00:04:36,767 --> 00:04:37,767 Oh, you mean "broke." 124 00:04:37,867 --> 00:04:38,667 Yes. 125 00:04:38,767 --> 00:04:39,767 Carry on. 126 00:04:39,867 --> 00:04:41,300 So he's going to see his friend, 127 00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:47,500 Antonio, and saying, oh please be lending me 3,000 buckets. 128 00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:48,633 "Ducats." 129 00:04:48,733 --> 00:04:49,900 Sorry, please. 130 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:52,033 But Antonio was also broken, so he's 131 00:04:52,133 --> 00:04:54,100 going to Shylock, the money-leading man, 132 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:56,233 and asking him to lend him the money. 133 00:04:56,333 --> 00:04:58,867 Shylock is agree, but on one condition. 134 00:04:58,967 --> 00:05:01,767 If in three months time, he's not paying him back the money, 135 00:05:01,867 --> 00:05:05,633 then Shylock could cut off a pound of Antonio's fleshy. 136 00:05:05,733 --> 00:05:09,033 Why is he wanting a pound of human flesh? 137 00:05:09,133 --> 00:05:12,633 Might be he's one of them cannonballs. 138 00:05:12,733 --> 00:05:15,200 "Cannibals." 139 00:05:15,300 --> 00:05:16,333 Oh no. 140 00:05:16,433 --> 00:05:18,433 He's doing this because he's not liking Antonio. 141 00:05:18,533 --> 00:05:21,933 Anyway, Antonio is in a bigger trouble. 142 00:05:22,033 --> 00:05:24,367 He wrecked all his chips. 143 00:05:24,467 --> 00:05:25,800 "Ships." 144 00:05:25,900 --> 00:05:27,700 Ships. 145 00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:30,433 And he's not been able to pay back the money. 146 00:05:30,533 --> 00:05:33,400 Now, Shylock is wanting his pound of flesh. 147 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:36,533 But lady Portia is pretending to be a lawyer-man, 148 00:05:36,633 --> 00:05:40,233 and she's saying agreement was for a one pound of flesh, 149 00:05:40,333 --> 00:05:42,567 and no droppies of blood. 150 00:05:42,667 --> 00:05:44,300 Shylock has had it. 151 00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:49,700 How can he have had it when he's not getting? 152 00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:51,233 You damn fool. 153 00:05:51,333 --> 00:05:53,633 You are not understanding the Queen's English. 154 00:05:53,733 --> 00:05:56,467 I know the queen is English. 155 00:05:56,567 --> 00:05:58,133 You think I'm stupid? 156 00:05:58,233 --> 00:05:59,300 Most definitely. 157 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:01,133 Ranjeet, sit down. 158 00:06:01,233 --> 00:06:02,233 Thank you. Right. 159 00:06:02,333 --> 00:06:03,667 Thank you, Ali. Very well done. 160 00:06:03,767 --> 00:06:05,100 Right. 161 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:08,133 Now, Su-Lee, your task was a visit to Petticoat Lane. 162 00:06:08,233 --> 00:06:09,900 Petticoat Lane, very disappointing. 163 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:10,833 Oh? 164 00:06:10,933 --> 00:06:11,767 Why was that? 165 00:06:11,867 --> 00:06:16,000 Not see one petticoat. 166 00:06:16,100 --> 00:06:18,133 Petticoat Lane is just the name of the place. 167 00:06:18,233 --> 00:06:20,433 Look, don't you find marketplaces interesting. 168 00:06:20,533 --> 00:06:22,500 Maketplaces are full of capitalistic traders, 169 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:25,033 selling inferior merchandise to ignorant working classes, 170 00:06:25,133 --> 00:06:26,400 that inflate the prices. 171 00:06:26,500 --> 00:06:27,767 Chairman Mao, he always said-- 172 00:06:27,867 --> 00:06:30,033 Never mind what Chairman Mao says. 173 00:06:30,133 --> 00:06:31,333 Thank you, Su-Lee. 174 00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:32,300 Well done. 175 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:34,000 All right, Ranjeet, your task was 176 00:06:34,100 --> 00:06:35,867 a visit to Highgate Cemetery. 177 00:06:35,967 --> 00:06:39,233 And I am finding it very interesting. 178 00:06:39,333 --> 00:06:40,733 Good Well, tell us all about it. 179 00:06:40,833 --> 00:06:44,767 Firstly, I'm seeing the burying place of Karl Marx. 180 00:06:44,867 --> 00:06:45,700 Ah, yes. 181 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:47,200 The father of communism. 182 00:06:47,300 --> 00:06:50,333 But I'm not understanding which one he was. 183 00:06:50,433 --> 00:06:51,100 I'm sorry. 184 00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:52,200 I don't understand. 185 00:06:52,300 --> 00:06:54,333 Was he Chico, Harpo, or Groucho? 186 00:06:58,167 --> 00:07:00,800 Karl Marx was not one of the Marx Brothers. 187 00:07:00,900 --> 00:07:02,933 A thousand apologies. 188 00:07:03,033 --> 00:07:04,400 What else did you see? 189 00:07:04,500 --> 00:07:07,600 I'm seeing many beautiful greystones. 190 00:07:07,700 --> 00:07:09,567 "Gravestones." 191 00:07:09,667 --> 00:07:10,833 That is correct. 192 00:07:10,933 --> 00:07:14,933 And some of them have written on them beautiful words. 193 00:07:15,033 --> 00:07:17,967 I'm writing one down. 194 00:07:18,067 --> 00:07:21,933 "You are gone, my dearest wife. 195 00:07:22,033 --> 00:07:24,567 Still I feel no pain. 196 00:07:24,667 --> 00:07:28,433 For I know at Heaven's Gate, we will meet again." 197 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:34,967 What's the matter, Giovanni. 198 00:07:35,067 --> 00:07:36,067 I can't help it, Professori. 199 00:07:36,167 --> 00:07:37,567 It's so sad. 200 00:07:37,667 --> 00:07:41,367 That poor husband, he must have loved his wife very much. 201 00:07:41,467 --> 00:07:43,733 Please don't be upsetting yourself. 202 00:07:43,833 --> 00:07:45,633 The husband is being very happy. 203 00:07:45,733 --> 00:07:46,767 How do you know? 204 00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:48,033 He's dying the year after. 205 00:07:48,133 --> 00:07:49,533 Oh, thank goodness. 206 00:07:49,633 --> 00:07:52,167 I'm so happy for him. 207 00:07:52,267 --> 00:07:54,900 And they are both big football fans. 208 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:56,600 Oh, how on earth do you know that? 209 00:07:56,700 --> 00:08:01,133 He's having put on the stone "United forever." 210 00:08:04,333 --> 00:08:07,700 That, Ranjeet, refers to him being reunited 211 00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:09,567 with his wife in heaven. 212 00:08:09,667 --> 00:08:11,000 Thousand, another thousand apologies. 213 00:08:11,100 --> 00:08:12,233 Yes. Well, thank you. 214 00:08:12,333 --> 00:08:13,367 Well done. Good. 215 00:08:13,467 --> 00:08:14,433 All right. 216 00:08:14,533 --> 00:08:15,967 Giovanni, have you recovered sufficiently 217 00:08:16,067 --> 00:08:18,633 to tell us about your visit to Speakers' Corner. 218 00:08:18,733 --> 00:08:25,700 Okey-cokey First, I take the tube to Hyde Park. 219 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:28,367 Then for an hour, nothing. 220 00:08:28,467 --> 00:08:29,733 Well, what do you mean nothing? 221 00:08:29,833 --> 00:08:31,133 Nobody was there. 222 00:08:31,233 --> 00:08:33,000 What, at 10:00 on a Sunday morning? 223 00:08:33,100 --> 00:08:34,100 That's right. 224 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:35,567 Well, that's strange. 225 00:08:35,667 --> 00:08:37,600 There's always people at Speakers' Corner every weekend. 226 00:08:37,700 --> 00:08:41,533 I asked a policeman, why is there nobody here? 227 00:08:41,633 --> 00:08:44,033 And I find out why there is nobody there. 228 00:08:44,133 --> 00:08:45,633 Well, why was there nobody there? 229 00:08:45,733 --> 00:08:49,000 I was at the wrong corner. 230 00:08:49,100 --> 00:08:51,267 Ah, yes, carry on, Giovanni. 231 00:08:51,367 --> 00:08:53,100 Excuse me, Mr. Brown. 232 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:54,300 Ah, yes, Miss Courtney? 233 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:55,667 What have you done about the concert? 234 00:08:55,767 --> 00:08:57,033 Pardon? 235 00:08:57,133 --> 00:08:59,433 Is everybody in this school going deaf? 236 00:08:59,533 --> 00:09:01,667 I want to know what you have done about the school concert. 237 00:09:01,767 --> 00:09:03,233 Concert? 238 00:09:03,333 --> 00:09:05,033 There's been a notice on the board for the past two weeks. 239 00:09:05,133 --> 00:09:06,267 You haven't read it? 240 00:09:06,367 --> 00:09:07,067 Well, I-- 241 00:09:07,167 --> 00:09:08,433 Mr. Brown had read it. 242 00:09:08,533 --> 00:09:10,900 He was discussing it with us before you came in. 243 00:09:12,567 --> 00:09:13,633 Yes, yes. I was. 244 00:09:13,733 --> 00:09:14,633 Good. 245 00:09:14,733 --> 00:09:16,067 Then what are you going to do? 246 00:09:16,167 --> 00:09:17,533 Well, I expect we'll all be there. 247 00:09:17,633 --> 00:09:20,367 I should jolly well hope you will all be there. 248 00:09:20,467 --> 00:09:23,500 But what I want to know is what your students' 249 00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:25,467 contribution will be. 250 00:09:25,567 --> 00:09:26,367 Contribution? 251 00:09:26,467 --> 00:09:27,567 Yes. 252 00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:28,900 What little party piece are they going to perform? 253 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:30,733 Party piece? Well, I-- 254 00:09:30,833 --> 00:09:33,033 Eh, pardon, senora. 255 00:09:33,133 --> 00:09:36,433 It's going to be a surprise. 256 00:09:36,533 --> 00:09:37,267 Yes. 257 00:09:37,367 --> 00:09:38,600 It's is going to be a surprise. 258 00:09:38,700 --> 00:09:41,000 Well, I don't like surprises. 259 00:09:41,100 --> 00:09:42,800 I want to be quite sure that what they're going to do 260 00:09:42,900 --> 00:09:44,267 will be acceptable. 261 00:09:44,367 --> 00:09:46,533 So I suggest that after tea break, you and your class 262 00:09:46,633 --> 00:09:49,933 can give me a preview of their intended performance? 263 00:09:50,033 --> 00:09:51,033 Right. 264 00:09:55,067 --> 00:09:56,133 Hey. 265 00:09:56,233 --> 00:09:57,733 We'll help you out pretty good, huh? 266 00:09:57,833 --> 00:09:59,867 Yes, but not for very long. 267 00:09:59,967 --> 00:10:00,967 Por favor? 268 00:10:01,067 --> 00:10:02,333 We do have to think of something 269 00:10:02,433 --> 00:10:04,500 to do for this concert in less than half-an-hour. 270 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:06,100 That's all right. 271 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:11,067 With your brain, and our talent, no problem. 272 00:10:14,300 --> 00:10:15,900 - To me, Sid. - Pardon? 273 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,600 - To me. - To me? 274 00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:18,567 To me. 275 00:10:18,667 --> 00:10:19,700 - No over here. - Not you. 276 00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:20,533 Me. - To you? 277 00:10:20,633 --> 00:10:21,533 - Right. - Oh. 278 00:10:24,267 --> 00:10:27,167 I got you a nice cup of tea, Mr. Brown. 279 00:10:27,267 --> 00:10:28,300 Oh, thank you, Gladys. 280 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:29,033 There. 281 00:10:29,133 --> 00:10:30,433 Thank you. 282 00:10:30,533 --> 00:10:31,800 Here, what are you all going to do for the concert? 283 00:10:31,900 --> 00:10:33,067 I shudder to think. 284 00:10:33,167 --> 00:10:34,533 They're outside practicing now. 285 00:10:34,633 --> 00:10:35,367 Oh. 286 00:10:35,467 --> 00:10:36,633 Would you like me to do a bit? 287 00:10:36,733 --> 00:10:37,533 A bit of what? 288 00:10:37,633 --> 00:10:38,600 Well, singing. 289 00:10:38,700 --> 00:10:40,167 I was in the choir. 290 00:10:40,267 --> 00:10:49,167 Jerusalem, Jerusalem, lift up your voice and sing-- 291 00:10:49,267 --> 00:10:51,133 Turn it off Gladys. 292 00:10:51,233 --> 00:10:52,600 You'll curdle up the milk. 293 00:10:52,700 --> 00:10:56,333 Oh, don't you be so cheeky. 294 00:10:56,433 --> 00:10:58,133 You like my voice, Mr. Brown? 295 00:10:58,233 --> 00:10:59,367 I think it's remarkable. 296 00:10:59,467 --> 00:11:00,300 Thank you. 297 00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:01,533 I could do a turn, if you like. 298 00:11:01,633 --> 00:11:02,300 What? You, Sid? 299 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:03,067 Yeah. 300 00:11:03,167 --> 00:11:04,400 You, watch this. 301 00:11:04,500 --> 00:11:05,800 Any old iron? 302 00:11:05,900 --> 00:11:07,100 Any old iron? 303 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,833 Any, any, any old iron? 304 00:11:08,933 --> 00:11:10,700 You all look sweet. Talk about a treat. 305 00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:12,633 You all look dapper from your napper to your feet. 306 00:11:12,733 --> 00:11:14,700 Dressed in style, brand-new tile, and your father's 307 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:16,067 old green tie on. 308 00:11:16,167 --> 00:11:17,933 But I wouldn't you a tuppence for your old watch 309 00:11:18,033 --> 00:11:19,567 and chain, old iron, old iron. 310 00:11:21,967 --> 00:11:22,867 How's that? 311 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:28,833 All right. 312 00:11:28,933 --> 00:11:29,733 Come on. 313 00:11:29,833 --> 00:11:30,800 Hurry on up. 314 00:11:32,067 --> 00:11:33,067 All right, Mr. Brown. 315 00:11:33,167 --> 00:11:36,267 All right, 316 00:11:36,367 --> 00:11:37,967 All right. Come along, everybody. 317 00:11:38,067 --> 00:11:40,967 Good, good. 318 00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:41,967 Hey. 319 00:11:42,067 --> 00:11:42,967 Senor Brown. 320 00:11:43,067 --> 00:11:44,133 Yeah. 321 00:11:44,233 --> 00:11:45,800 It's the program for our concierto. 322 00:11:45,900 --> 00:11:46,967 - Oh, for the concert? - Si, si. 323 00:11:47,067 --> 00:11:48,200 Ah, good. Yes. 324 00:11:48,300 --> 00:11:49,967 Good, good. All right, come along everybody. 325 00:11:50,067 --> 00:11:51,633 Miss Courtney will be here any minute now. 326 00:11:51,733 --> 00:11:52,933 I am here now, Mr. Brown. 327 00:11:53,033 --> 00:11:54,233 Well, good. 328 00:11:54,333 --> 00:11:55,500 Would you like to sit there, Miss Courtney? 329 00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:56,467 Thank you. 330 00:11:56,567 --> 00:11:58,000 I do hope I am going to enjoy this. 331 00:11:58,100 --> 00:11:59,267 So do I. 332 00:11:59,367 --> 00:12:00,800 I wouldn't like to be embarrassed in front 333 00:12:00,900 --> 00:12:01,967 of our distinguished guests. 334 00:12:02,067 --> 00:12:03,667 Oh, no-- what distinguished guests? 335 00:12:03,767 --> 00:12:06,333 Quite a few members of the Education Authority 336 00:12:06,433 --> 00:12:07,800 always come to see our concerts. 337 00:12:07,900 --> 00:12:09,833 I don't want a repetition of what happened last year. 338 00:12:09,933 --> 00:12:11,267 What-- what happened? 339 00:12:11,367 --> 00:12:14,267 Mr. Jarvis' woodwork students were quite awful. 340 00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:17,500 They sang bawdy rugby songs out of tune. 341 00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:20,000 Mr. Jarvis still hasn't found another job. 342 00:12:22,667 --> 00:12:23,500 How comforting. 343 00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:25,500 Right, would you all come out here. 344 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:27,800 When I introduce you, I act as a kind of compere. 345 00:12:27,900 --> 00:12:30,300 Well, I shall stop you if there's anything I don't like. 346 00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:31,267 Right. 347 00:12:31,367 --> 00:12:32,233 Good evening, ladies and gentlemen-- 348 00:12:32,333 --> 00:12:33,067 Stop. 349 00:12:33,167 --> 00:12:34,333 Is something the matter? 350 00:12:34,433 --> 00:12:35,967 This concert takes place in the afternoon. 351 00:12:36,067 --> 00:12:38,400 Ah Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. 352 00:12:38,500 --> 00:12:39,800 I hope you're all sitting comfortably. 353 00:12:39,900 --> 00:12:40,800 Stop. 354 00:12:40,900 --> 00:12:42,167 Now, what was wrong with that? 355 00:12:42,267 --> 00:12:44,533 Mr. Brown, by the time you and your cast come on, 356 00:12:44,633 --> 00:12:46,900 the audience would have been sitting on those hard chairs 357 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,767 for 1 and 1/2 hours. 358 00:12:48,867 --> 00:12:51,367 I wouldn't mention anything about comfort if I were you. 359 00:12:51,467 --> 00:12:52,267 Ah. 360 00:12:52,367 --> 00:12:53,500 Right. 361 00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:54,933 Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. 362 00:12:55,033 --> 00:12:56,700 The English as a foreign language class 363 00:12:56,800 --> 00:13:00,167 is proud to present a potpourri of music and laughter. 364 00:13:00,267 --> 00:13:05,267 And to start us off, we have from Hungary Zoltan Szabo. 365 00:13:10,700 --> 00:13:11,700 Good evening, everybody! 366 00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:13,300 Good afternoon. 367 00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:14,067 Ah! 368 00:13:14,167 --> 00:13:16,933 Good afternoon. 369 00:13:17,033 --> 00:13:19,467 Hungarian magic. 370 00:13:19,567 --> 00:13:21,467 Hungarian paper. 371 00:13:32,133 --> 00:13:32,967 Hui, hui. 372 00:13:33,067 --> 00:13:34,267 Hia! 373 00:13:38,033 --> 00:13:40,667 Second Hungarian Magic. 374 00:13:40,767 --> 00:13:42,367 Stop. 375 00:13:42,467 --> 00:13:44,233 You don't want second Hungarian magic? 376 00:13:44,333 --> 00:13:46,867 I don't think I even want first Hungarian magic. 377 00:13:48,333 --> 00:13:49,400 Oh, well, never mind, Zoltan. That's very good. 378 00:13:49,500 --> 00:13:50,733 Sit down. Yes. 379 00:13:50,833 --> 00:13:52,167 Right. 380 00:13:52,267 --> 00:13:55,300 And now from Italy, the irrepressible Giovanni Cupello. 381 00:13:58,067 --> 00:13:59,667 Graci, graci. 382 00:13:59,767 --> 00:14:03,800 For you, I'm gonna do some impersonations. 383 00:14:03,900 --> 00:14:06,100 Okey-cokey, here we go. 384 00:14:09,267 --> 00:14:09,967 Hey. 385 00:14:10,067 --> 00:14:11,833 You want a nice piece of salami? 386 00:14:11,933 --> 00:14:13,700 I've got a lovely piece for you. 387 00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:15,267 And was that supposed to be? 388 00:14:15,367 --> 00:14:16,500 That's my butcher, Antonio. 389 00:14:20,133 --> 00:14:23,367 We have never heard of your butcher. 390 00:14:23,467 --> 00:14:24,433 Maybe not. 391 00:14:24,533 --> 00:14:26,700 But if you had, it's very much like him. 392 00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:30,533 Don't you do any impressions of any well-known people. 393 00:14:30,633 --> 00:14:32,233 Sure I can. 394 00:14:32,333 --> 00:14:35,333 Jimmy Cagney, in a scene from the film 395 00:14:35,433 --> 00:14:37,800 "Disaster on the Fifth Avenue." 396 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:49,800 You dirty rat. 397 00:14:49,900 --> 00:14:52,700 You dirty, dirty, dirty rat! 398 00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:54,067 Dirty, dirty. 399 00:14:54,167 --> 00:14:56,000 I'm gonna fix you! 400 00:14:57,633 --> 00:14:59,133 I haven't finished yet. 401 00:14:59,233 --> 00:15:03,600 Well, Mr. Cagney sounds remarkably like your butcher. 402 00:15:03,700 --> 00:15:09,200 And now from France, the delightful Danielle. 403 00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:15,967 Thank you. 404 00:15:16,067 --> 00:15:17,533 La la la la. 405 00:15:17,633 --> 00:15:19,500 La la. 406 00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:20,500 Off. 407 00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:23,867 La la la la, la la. 408 00:15:23,967 --> 00:15:24,833 Off. 409 00:15:24,933 --> 00:15:26,800 La la la la-- 410 00:15:32,433 --> 00:15:34,133 off. 411 00:15:34,233 --> 00:15:36,067 Do you know any of the words, Danielle? 412 00:15:36,167 --> 00:15:37,967 I do not sing the words. 413 00:15:38,067 --> 00:15:39,267 I just dance to the music. 414 00:15:39,367 --> 00:15:42,600 And what is all this "off" business. 415 00:15:42,700 --> 00:15:46,100 That is when I'm taking off my clothes. 416 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:48,800 You can't have that sort of thing going on. 417 00:15:48,900 --> 00:15:50,700 It's not going on. 418 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:52,500 It is coming off. 419 00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:54,400 Not in my school. 420 00:15:54,500 --> 00:15:55,333 But, I-- 421 00:15:55,433 --> 00:15:56,567 Yeah, well, thank you, Danielle. 422 00:15:56,667 --> 00:15:57,733 Well done. Jolly good. 423 00:15:57,833 --> 00:15:59,267 Yes. 424 00:15:59,367 --> 00:16:02,167 And now, from the mysterious East, 425 00:16:02,267 --> 00:16:04,700 we have to sing for you Taro Nagazumi. 426 00:16:11,300 --> 00:16:15,767 I sing for you a traditional Japanese song 427 00:16:15,867 --> 00:16:19,233 called "A Warrior's Lament-o." 428 00:16:48,533 --> 00:16:51,233 Stop. 429 00:16:51,333 --> 00:16:54,167 Why you tell me "stop-o." 430 00:16:54,267 --> 00:16:56,900 Because it was awful. 431 00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:58,733 Oh, I thought it had a certain style. 432 00:16:58,833 --> 00:16:59,667 Yeah. 433 00:16:59,767 --> 00:17:01,700 Sickening. 434 00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:04,033 Sorry. 435 00:17:04,133 --> 00:17:05,767 You no like-o my song. 436 00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:15,000 And now from Germany, will you welcome with her animal 437 00:17:15,100 --> 00:17:16,867 impressions Anna Schmidt. 438 00:17:20,867 --> 00:17:22,333 Danke. 439 00:17:22,433 --> 00:17:26,967 I would like you to come with me on a walk in a Black Forest. 440 00:17:27,067 --> 00:17:30,033 First, we meet a farmer and his dog, woof woof. 441 00:17:32,767 --> 00:17:39,633 The dog is chasing the sheep, baa baa, and the cows, moo moo. 442 00:17:39,733 --> 00:17:44,100 Ah, here comes a man on his horse, neigh, neigh. 443 00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:46,567 No, no, Anna. 444 00:17:46,667 --> 00:17:47,500 Nein. 445 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:48,733 Neigh, neigh. 446 00:17:48,833 --> 00:17:51,600 No, you're supposed to make the actual sounds, like 447 00:17:51,700 --> 00:17:55,467 or. 448 00:17:55,567 --> 00:17:56,733 I can't do that. 449 00:17:56,833 --> 00:17:57,633 It hurts my throat. 450 00:17:57,733 --> 00:17:58,767 Ah. 451 00:17:58,867 --> 00:17:59,833 Well, thank you for trying, anyway. 452 00:17:59,933 --> 00:18:01,233 Jolly good. Well done. 453 00:18:01,333 --> 00:18:02,500 Right. 454 00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:06,967 And now from China, with something peculiarly Chinese, 455 00:18:07,067 --> 00:18:09,333 will you welcome Miss Chung Su-Lee. 456 00:18:16,033 --> 00:18:21,233 Chairman Mao, he say, "In the conditions within China today, 457 00:18:21,333 --> 00:18:22,667 the contradictions among the people, 458 00:18:22,767 --> 00:18:24,233 compliance accommodations among the working classes, 459 00:18:24,333 --> 00:18:25,700 the contradictions among the peasantry, 460 00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:27,000 the contradictions--" - Stop. 461 00:18:27,100 --> 00:18:28,833 This is supposed to be a school concert, not 462 00:18:28,933 --> 00:18:31,000 a party political broadcast. 463 00:18:31,100 --> 00:18:33,033 Can't you sing or anything? 464 00:18:33,133 --> 00:18:34,700 I can sing a song of revolution. 465 00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:37,333 No,. 466 00:18:37,433 --> 00:18:38,367 All right. 467 00:18:38,467 --> 00:18:40,167 And now it's time for a little comedy, 468 00:18:40,267 --> 00:18:42,300 from Ali Nadim and Ranjeet Singh. 469 00:18:45,467 --> 00:18:49,033 "There's a little yellow idol to the north of Khatmandu." 470 00:18:49,133 --> 00:18:51,967 I am saying, I am saying, I am saying. 471 00:18:52,067 --> 00:18:53,700 Yes, please. 472 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:56,567 Why is the rhinoceros being like an elephant? 473 00:18:56,667 --> 00:18:59,300 Why is the rhinoceros like being an elephant? 474 00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:01,133 Because neither of them can ride a bicycle. 475 00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:04,367 I did not even know that. 476 00:19:04,467 --> 00:19:06,167 Please be leaving the stage. 477 00:19:06,267 --> 00:19:08,900 "There's a little yellow idol to the north of Khatmandu." 478 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:11,233 I am saying, I am saying, I am saying. 479 00:19:11,333 --> 00:19:12,833 Stop. 480 00:19:12,933 --> 00:19:14,667 You are not liking us? 481 00:19:14,767 --> 00:19:15,733 No 482 00:19:15,833 --> 00:19:17,000 Oh, what did you expect? 483 00:19:17,100 --> 00:19:18,467 Morecambe and Wise? 484 00:19:18,567 --> 00:19:21,033 If you're wanting, we can be doing Morecambe and Wise. 485 00:19:21,133 --> 00:19:23,633 I could be the fat, short one with the hairy legs. 486 00:19:23,733 --> 00:19:25,433 And I will be the one with the glasses. 487 00:19:29,667 --> 00:19:30,967 All right. 488 00:19:31,067 --> 00:19:32,267 Well, we'll discuss it later. 489 00:19:32,367 --> 00:19:33,000 Thank you. 490 00:19:33,100 --> 00:19:34,833 Very good, very good. 491 00:19:34,933 --> 00:19:36,333 Right. 492 00:19:36,433 --> 00:19:39,033 Our next student to entertain you with a little culture 493 00:19:39,133 --> 00:19:40,567 is Jamila Ranjha. 494 00:19:50,233 --> 00:19:52,500 Ladies and gentlemen, I am tell you 495 00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:58,267 beautiful English poetries by Thomas Gray, 496 00:19:58,367 --> 00:20:01,000 "Elijah Written in Country Churchyard." 497 00:20:01,100 --> 00:20:02,833 "Elegy." 498 00:20:02,933 --> 00:20:03,767 Sorry. 499 00:20:05,433 --> 00:20:12,000 "The curfew tolls the "kuh-nell" of par-ting day." -ting day. 500 00:20:12,100 --> 00:20:18,900 "The lowing herd winds slowly o'er the lea. 501 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:24,533 The "ploff-man" homeward plods his weary way, 502 00:20:24,633 --> 00:20:30,633 and leaves the world to darkness and to me." 503 00:20:35,133 --> 00:20:36,433 Incredible. 504 00:20:36,533 --> 00:20:39,600 Yeah, I'll work on her pronunciation. 505 00:20:39,700 --> 00:20:41,100 Thank you, Jamila. 506 00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:45,000 And now from Spain to entertain you comes Juan Cervantes. 507 00:20:47,367 --> 00:20:50,233 It's all right, it's all right, it's all right. 508 00:20:50,333 --> 00:20:53,833 Mr. Brown, he tell you, I am from Spain. 509 00:20:53,933 --> 00:20:55,367 That surprised you, huh? 510 00:20:55,467 --> 00:20:59,567 When I speak, I have no accent at all. 511 00:20:59,667 --> 00:21:04,367 In Spain one time, I was going to be the bullfighter. 512 00:21:04,467 --> 00:21:09,000 So one Sunday afternoon, I go to the bullfight 513 00:21:09,100 --> 00:21:11,167 and they put me in the ring. 514 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:17,033 The bull comes out. 515 00:21:17,133 --> 00:21:18,700 I look at the bull. 516 00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:21,600 And the bull, he look at me. 517 00:21:21,700 --> 00:21:26,133 The bull, he look at me, and I look at the bull. 518 00:21:26,233 --> 00:21:28,367 And you know one thing? 519 00:21:28,467 --> 00:21:31,233 The bull was better-looking than me. 520 00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:37,700 Hey, why you no laugh? 521 00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:39,467 It's all right. 522 00:21:39,567 --> 00:21:44,000 So I not become the bull fighter, because I 523 00:21:44,100 --> 00:21:45,833 don't kill pretty bulls. 524 00:21:45,933 --> 00:21:48,767 Good, huh? 525 00:21:49,767 --> 00:21:51,033 Sit down. 526 00:21:51,133 --> 00:21:52,600 You never saw me dance the flamenco. 527 00:21:52,700 --> 00:21:53,700 I do it very good. 528 00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:54,600 Oh,. 529 00:22:06,533 --> 00:22:11,300 And finally, to complete our contribution, 530 00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:13,867 Greece and Sweden combine, Maximilian 531 00:22:13,967 --> 00:22:15,500 Papandrious and Ingrid Svenson. 532 00:22:23,300 --> 00:22:24,533 OK. 533 00:22:24,633 --> 00:22:29,167 And now my beautiful assistant and I are 534 00:22:29,267 --> 00:22:31,367 going to do some, uh, jiggling. 535 00:22:31,467 --> 00:22:32,933 "Juggling." 536 00:22:33,033 --> 00:22:34,500 OK. 537 00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:35,500 You ready, huh? 538 00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:36,433 I already am. 539 00:22:36,533 --> 00:22:37,567 OK. 540 00:22:37,667 --> 00:22:38,467 Hey! 541 00:22:44,033 --> 00:22:45,033 Ooh. 542 00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:00,900 All we need is a little practice. 543 00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:03,500 We can't afford the plates. 544 00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:04,467 Well done. 545 00:23:04,567 --> 00:23:05,633 Sit down, both of you. 546 00:23:05,733 --> 00:23:06,600 Jolly good. 547 00:23:06,700 --> 00:23:09,800 Well, Mr. Brown, I think-- 548 00:23:09,900 --> 00:23:12,000 I think we can write your class off. 549 00:23:13,933 --> 00:23:15,100 Please, Miss Courtney. 550 00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:16,800 The students will be so disappointed. 551 00:23:16,900 --> 00:23:18,067 I mean, we still have three days. 552 00:23:18,167 --> 00:23:19,200 Just give us a chance, eh? 553 00:23:19,300 --> 00:23:20,233 Oh, well, very well. 554 00:23:20,333 --> 00:23:22,200 But remember this Mr. Brown. 555 00:23:22,300 --> 00:23:24,167 Good jobs are hard to find. 556 00:23:46,367 --> 00:23:49,233 Thank you to Weight Watchers. 557 00:23:49,333 --> 00:23:50,667 myself. 558 00:23:50,767 --> 00:23:53,233 And now, ladies and gentlemen, for your entertainment, 559 00:23:53,333 --> 00:23:55,833 here is Jeremy Brown and his United Nations. 560 00:24:04,467 --> 00:24:06,200 Thank you.